Friday, February 17, 2017

The Trump Survival Kit

I didn’t think it would come this, but after the latest press conference and Lord knows countless others, “are you fucking kidding me!?!?!” moments, I think it’s now time to invoke the Trump Survival Kit for African Americans. Some may think a survival kit is a bit drastic, but so is having an imbecile for president who has surrounded himself with the most progressive racists of our time. As a women of color it scares me what these men could do with the 13th amendment; remember the Jews in a million years never thought one man could turn nations against them.  I ain’t trying to live through a modern holocaust!

Please note: if you are any other “minority” race, I hate the word minority, but if you fall under this category based on societal standards, then you too may need to create a kit or adjust the contents of what’s being explained below:

The Trump Survival Kit

Item #1.    Passport – If you don’t have one already, it’s time to start the process. The cost for a passport whether new or renewal ranges from $110 - $165.  Check out for exact info. And while you’re at it, start researching other countries you may want to export to. 

Item #2.      Money – Start saving your coin. You do not need anything new right now.  But, you will need bribe cash in the event you need to escape.

Item #3.      Escape Route – At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if someone isn’t building a new underground railroad. Folks, it’s time we get our Harriet Tubman on.  Figure out where you want to go as mentioned in Item #1

Item #4.      Learn a new language – Depending on the destination or destinations you’re thinking of, it will be helpful if you learn the language, which will make your transition a bit easier.

Item #5.      Swimming Lessons – If there’s one thing we learned from the slave trade, swimming was not one of our strong suits. Hell, just watch Amazing Race there’s always a black team who can’t swim.  During an escape we will not be able to control the method of transportation, some of it may require getting on a raft and then swimming the rest of the way.  Start learning, plus it’s healthy for you!

Item #6.      Natural Hair – Sistahs, sistahs, sistahs, now more than ever is the time to go natural. During an escape you will not be able to maintain a weave, plus you might pisst off the other escapees with the smell, let’s be real.  For the relaxer chicks, you can pretend your hair is not nappy, but you know six weeks into an escape you will lose your mind.  I’m personally going through the relaxer-less process now.  My advice, start slow, get use to the hair your ancestors gave you, and you’ll see you’ll adjust!

Item #7.      Berries and edible Plants – In every slave movie escape, somewhere somehow they end up in the woods and actually survive.  Back in the day, peeps knew what natural aka organic really was. Take a class on natural berries and plants that can be used for consumption and medicinal purposes. As a matter of fact, Groupon was recently offering a survival in the woods class for $59, I suggest you check your local listing.

Item #8.      Dog Training – As much as we love our furry family members, we all know they were the primary weapon of slave recovery.  With this being said, now is the time to embrace your inner Cesar Millian and take a dog training class, learn to disarm, pacify them or whatever it takes not to be eaten or caught.

Item #9.      Learn to climb a tree – If you don’t subscribe to item #8 then may I suggest you learn how to climb a tree.  This is an official reach out to Bree Newsome to host some classes.  Remember, this was the sistah who climbed the flag pole to remove the confederate flag in South Carolina.

Item #10.   Get a Massa – If you absolutely feel you can’t follow items 1-9, then may I suggest you broker a deal with a white person you can trust, and ensure he/she will be your Massa in the event the 13th amendment is repealed and we’re once again deemed legal property. 

On a final note, I encourage all folks to stay woke. We live in a country that kidnapped, abused, degraded and continues to despise us. There’s nothing they wouldn’t do to make their AmeriKKKa great again! Be on guard and if you can’t fight them, then get the hell out. At least this time it will be on your own terms! 

Peace out,

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Folders

I don’t have a problem with Steve Harvey, Ray Lewis, Jim Brown and Kanye West meeting with Donald Trump. Hell, I don’t have a problem with the Talladega marching band performing at the inauguration. Nope, no problem at all.  What I have a problem with is the easy way all of these people and institutions fold like a bad hand in Vegas.  I would just like to see for once in my lifetime black people stand up like other races, Asians, Jewish,  Latinos and go HAM on someone. Why do we always believe in turning the other cheek? Why is we have to be the forgivers and move on? Why can’t we demand apologies? Why can’t other party atone for their behavior? Why is it that moving on requires us to just take it and excuse the other party for the sake of moving on.

Have any of these people who are in the spotlight and represent us, so they say, ever think that their representation appears misguided.  I can only imagine how other races laugh at us. For real, think about it, slavery lasted centuries and we don’t even think of bringing up the word reparations.  The holocaust was a decade plus, and hell even if you think Nazi, you will be sued.  Yet, our race will sit with a man who refuses to denounce racism or sexism, rather he unapologetically promotes it.  If you’re unclear about his stance just remember the campaign and his emergence of the Alternative Right aka the new Nazi’s, remember we can’t say Nazi.  And if the campaign isn’t enough to understand his view, then go back to his history and research the Central Park 5.  Homeboy was real about prosecuting and throwing away the key for 5 young black youths.  Who ironically were found innocent 20 years later. When asked would he apologize, he said NO, cause he still felt they were guilty, despite overwhelming DNA evidence and a confession from the actual criminal.  And, when it comes to discrimination him and his Daddy were prime advocates, to the point where a Black person couldn’t even rent an apartment in one of their buildings.  But the biggest offense is when he championed the movement to overthrow the first Black President, accusing him of not being a natural born citizen and forcing him to produce a birth certificate; all because his name was “foreign”, and because he was Black.

I don’t know how in their conscious do any of the named celebrities in this article or anyone else of color meet with such a man who clearly belittles, and HATES your people. Yes HATE‼! He is a fear monger and if given the chance not only deport every immigrant legal or not, but hell who knows, may look to reverse the 13th amendment, after all our freedom is actually an amendment to the constitution, which one can debate that the laws of the land were not for us! Having the audacity to meet with a man like this and coming out grinning for cameras, is shameful, disgraceful and just disrespectful to your base and your ancestors.  Yesterday I heard Jeff Johnson say, that just because some people read two books they think they have the right to criticize Steve Harvey.  Mr. Johnson, I have read plenty of books, just because I’m not a journalist doesn’t mean I don’t know my shit.  I know enough to know that even before Dr. King met with the Kennedys who were Democrats aka Dixicrats, they had to prove to him with actions they were genuinely serious about helping the southern blacks.  As a matter of fact it was not until Robert Kennedy who fought for the release of MLK, who was sentenced to a chain gang, did we then embrace the Democratic party.  I ask you and all the other “folders” what has this man done to make you think he will have our best interest at heart? So far, nothing, except for a meeting with disconnected individuals who grew up hood, but have long been gone!  It’s a travesty, that what represents us is spineless and profit seeking for their own celebrity. Not to mention how insulting it is for us as Black people that this man thinks that a comedian, football player and rapper can institute community change.  He asked to speak to them because to him we’re so dumb, that we’ll listen to the radio talk show host or Kim Kardashian’s husband.  Let that sink in, how much this man thinks of us!

Steve Harvey glaringly attacked Donald Trump during the election and rightly so, but in the same token to shuck and jive afterwards is just so UNFORGIVING, so CHEAP.  For heaven’s sake people have some pride! Demand the respect you and all of us around you are due.  Now, I don’t expect the “folders” to carry our race, however I don’t want them to represent us.  To quote Harriet Tubman “I would of freed more slaves if they knew they were slaves.”  It’s apparent that their motives are too far removed with what’s plaguing our communities.  With that being said, I’m not here to change the “folders”, as a matter of fact, fuck them! But as citizens, we have a duty to call these people out, close the chapter and move on.  As of now, I’m taking a cue from Dr. King, until action is done in our favor, and only then will I entertain a compromise.