Corporate Profiling - What Diversity Training Doesn't Cover!

Recently my boss called me into a meeting regarding an incident in which it was reported that I had behaved in an inappropriate manner when it came to moving me to another cubicle.  My accuser who I am not allowed to face is an HR Director who overheard me speak to a colleague and was offended at my tone and what he assessed to be someone who was very angry.  He went on to say that this behavior can contribute to a hostile work environment in which others may feel threatened and even scared.  My boss concluded her end of the meeting by informing me these actions normally result in a written warning but because it was my first time and I most likely wasn't aware that we'll just leave this as a conversation and won't notate my file. She also went on to say that I've been considered as high potential to move up within the organization, however, I need to be cognizant of my behavior especially near outside influences who may have input regarding my growth.

At this point I do believe my boss thought this meeting had concluded and I understood my place......but screech (Scooby Doo) style.  Much to her dismay my inner "aw hell no" kicked in and I responded with my defense aka counter attack:

1) I in no way behaved in an inappropriate manner when I spoke to my colleague who I sometimes hang out with after work.  She's white, I'm Black/Puerto Rican, a little Ebony/Ivory going on.  She understands me as I understand her.  As a matter of fact she too chimed in about the "jacked" up cubicle I was being asked to move to.  Is she being spoke to?  Uh, no she's not, but OK, let's move on to number 2.
2) Hostile, threatening, scared work environment - I take all of these very seriously. How was I contributing to this type of work environment when I was not using profanity, nor raising my voice, didn't throw any objects (you know white people go after that stapler in a minute), hell I didn't even use street lingo.  Did I seem happy, no I wasn't.  But did I act like I was going to blow up the place if I didn't get to sit with my team, no I didn't.
3) Why are you mad, I wasn't even speaking to you? - This was a conversation between myself and a colleague, two people that's it! She wasn't running for cover, she didn't run to him and claimed to be scared.  Why are you so threatened regarding my conversation with another individual?  After all on our recent Employee Engagement Survey one of the questions was, "Do you have a work BFF?" I actually do and it was her.  Who are you to control our conversation, especially when you don't even know how she may approach me when she's angry. Was it because she is white and you were fearful that I was over powering her? Or, were you thinking she's white and I should be respecting her more? Sort of like in "The Help"?

As I concluded my counter points, I also suggested a remedy in which 1) I should be able to face my accuser and 2) Perhaps he needs diversity training, which he should of had because he's an HR Director, but apparently something is lacking.  By this time my boss had a perplexed look on her face, like damm, it's one of the smart ones, shit I thought this would be over.  I then went on tell her my reasons.  If this individual has input to my growth what other mis-perceived notions is he also spinning and to who? Clearly he misunderstood and it resulted in my being spoken to but could have resulted in a written warning. Something of this magnitude should give me the right to face my accuser and defend myself or attempt to understand his perception, it could be a teaching moment for the both of us.

My second suggestion really cut to the core as I went on to explain why this HR Director may need diversity training or we need to really amp it up a notch or two.  This individual has to really come to grips of what he considers offensive and by who. I have witnessed many meetings in which my white colleagues became upset and carried out offensive behavior like banging a table, throwing objects (the stapler never gets old), even cursing.  I've also witnessed them being sent home with pay and Managers asking us to ease up on these individuals when they come in cause their going through a "rough patch".  In this so-called offense I did not exhibit any of these qualities.  Which makes me wonder, how can my tone scare him this much? I'm not a big woman, merely 4'11, 130 lbs.  You're a man of significant size, and now based on my tone you're scared and threatened? Is he a punk? Maybe, because only a punk would report this as an incident.  Do I really scare him? Physically probably not, but mentally, hmmmm......maybe so, but is it enough to report me?

 As we cut to the core, it was not my tone or behavior, it was me! As a white man he saw an angry black woman and he immediately "Zimmermaned" me which means he profiled me to be violent.  Am I taking this to the extreme I don't think so, using words like scared and threatened what else could these mean?  This very action insinuates to me that if I express myself in this environment even if something negative is being placed upon me that I can NOT express myself authentically without being perceived as a threat.  For adverse situations I have to face them with a sugar coated smile to avoid his fears and those like him.  Yet if I lack aggression then I lack the initiative to move forward.  If I'm too aggressive I'm the angry black woman.  At this point it's a no-win situation, and we wonder why there's a lack of Black leadership?!?!  As you can imagine by now my boss's head had to be hurting this was indicative as she rubbed her right temple, and for some strange reason I heard the Excedrin music play in the background.  Honestly I really didn't care how she felt, if she was able to deliver this message she had to be equally willing to receive my message.  My parents raised me to value my name and I'll be dammed if I let someone's bullshit fears smear it!  To her relief I'm about to start my vacation, but little does she know I will be reporting this incident to our Employee Hotline which takes items very seriously.  Furthermore, I will express how I felt threatened, after all you did say he has input into my growth; if so he has the ability to stifle me because of his prejudicial stereotypical views. You can not threaten my career because you lack understanding, and then hide behind it.  Trust (in the words of a RuPaul Drag Race contestant) after I'm done he will really know what an angry black woman looks like!

Peace Out,
Blacktina

We Shall Overcome; have we?

Back in 1979 my 5th grade class belted out the song We Shall Overcome during the school's annual Black History assembly.*  We sang this song in honor of the civil rights struggle that preceded my generation 10 years earlier.  Fast forward 34 years later,  I woke up thinking have we overcome? The year is now 2013 and a 17 year old boy is senselessly murdered because an assailant's prejudices said this boy has to be criminal, for no other reason but the color of his skin.  It had nothing to do with the hoodie, white kids wear hoodies all the time; it had to do with this boy being black and nothing more! While we all know the story very well, what are we going to do about it? Are we going to sing another song? Are we going to hold vigils? or Are we going to finally stand the f*ck up and say that's it AmeriKKKa, I'm done being your whipping race for all races; don't get it twisted the white race is not your only opponent.  Look at George's mother and uncle, trust and believe they too would have thought that Moreno Trayvon was up to no good!

To the critics who think Black America is being hypersensitive again, let me just give you a timeline of what's happened in my generation that I can vividly recall.

1982  - Willie Turks - A subway car maintenance worker beaten by a white mob in Brooklyn.
1984 - Eleanor Bumpers - 66 year old woman shot and killed by police ordering her from an eviction.
1986 - Michael Griffith - Killed after being hit by car while running from a group of whites in Howard Beach.
1989 - Central Park 5 - Five innocent Black and Puerto Rican kids convicted of gang rapping a white woman.  These kids ranged from the ages of 13-17 and had nothing to do with the rape.  Yet they were crucified the minute they were illegally apprehended.
1991 - Rodney King - Savagely beaten by four police officers, who were later acquitted on criminal charges.
1997 - Abner Louima - Sodomized by a NYC police officer after being arrested outside a Brooklyn nightclub. 
1998 - James Byrd - Head and arm severed as he was dragged behind a pickup truck by 3 white supremacist.
1999 - Amadou Diallo - New Guinea immigrant shot 41 times by police.
2006 - Sean Bell - Killed after he and his friends were shot 50 times by New York city police officers, all were acquitted.
2012 - Trayvon Martin - 17 year old gunned down by neighborhood watch who thought Travyon looked suspicious.
1988 - 2012 - Various black teens gunned down based on Stand Your Ground Law.

Again this timeline is what I can vividly recall, I haven't include the countless other racially victimized cases, nor the plethora of black woman incarcerated for 20 years plus for drugs they didn't even have.  In my lifetime if I can recall 10 incidents and there are plenty more, clearly there's a problem.

For those who are chanting "Let it be" and asking us to respect the judicial process, I have to respond are you f*cking kidding? Where were these chants when OJ was acquitted? Sometimes I think we're getting paid back for OJ, but wait a minute, you did get him! He's in prison for 15 years for "stealing" his own shit.  George Zimmerman KILLS Trayvon Martin and nada, nope, nothing and you ask Black America why are you being sensitive?

I am tired, I am hurt, I feel deflated and have no confidence in this nation and our people.  Yes you heard me right our people.  I don't want to hear another press conference, I want action.  I want to see the new Medgar Evers, the new Martin's, the new Malcolm's, the new Thurgood Marshall's, the new Nelson Mandela's.  As a people we have become complacent and have striven off the backs of our past leaders. When they died the struggle should not have died with them.  Just because the President and First Lady is Black does not mean we've made it, just because the top golfer, basketball player or lead media guru Oprah Winfrey are black doesn't mean WE made it.  It means THEY made it.  But as a people we are still unjustly treated in all spectrums.  Why are we constantly the whipping race? Is it because we let ourselves get whipped? Think about it, what other race has endured our atrocities and refuse compensation.  Answer is NONE.  The Jews will milk anything related to the sacred Holocaust.  The Japanese Americans another group who will seek compensation.  Native Americans, need I say more.  But black people we just get happy to get a job and then wonder why people treat us like shit.  We're treated like shit because we don't demand being respected.  We don't seek a justified apology for being robbed our culture, family, religion, language, etc.  No, we take it lying down and sing a song, or have a march.  NAACP where are you? One of those A's stands for Advancement, instead of paying homage to black celebrities,  what are you doing about our inner city children, education, reducing the prison population, business empowerment, etc.  If you're doing something, we can't see it, nor has it been working.  You too need to step up your game!

Lastly, for my fellow Latinos, Puerto Ricans in particular I noticed many of you (not all) have been silent throughout this ordeal.  Just because Zimmerman is part Hispanic does not make his actions right.  If you're on his side just because Trayvon in your mind is a moreno, then you too you should be ashamed of yourself.  Let me share with you a little secret, you're also Black! Read your history; Puerto Rico was comprised of Indian and African slaves and Spaniard slave masters.  The Indians who couldn't handle the labor died off quickly, leaving African slaves to be RAPED by their masters.  As a result the product of a Puerto Rican. You, mis hermanos and hermanas are mulattos.  If you don't believe me just listen to Celia Cruz she's always paying homage to the Africano ancestors; better yet take a good look at your admiration for Jennifer Lopez and her backside; chicos and chicas that doesn't come from an Indian or Spaniard but pure Africano.  Here's one last one do you like Congas? Guess what, Africano again!

Peeps wake up, reconstruct, demand respect of your leaders, the judicial system, your children, your elders.  Black America you can NO LONGER sit down and think you're doing good.  All rainbow of races are against you, it's time to demand your respect, self-worth and seek sustaining progress that is owed to YOU!

Pisst Off,
Blacktina

*Back in the day recitals were referred to as assemblies in inner city schools.

Why We Own Nigger

This past weekend I went to see the new Kevin Hart movie Let Me Explain and I laughed my ass off.  He's no Richard Pryor but he's good enough for now! As I cracked up and sometimes teared I found myself laughing of Kevin use of the "N" word, hell I'm going to say it Nigger.  Yep he said it more times than I could count.  And guess what it didn't piss me off, I was fine with it.  As a matter of fact every time I hear one of us call each other Nigger it gives me pleasure.  Please don't get me wrong I know where it comes from and what's associated with it, and because of that it gives me pleasure.

As Black people have we realized that we've taken a word that was so harmful, ugly, mean and disdained and turned it into a term of endearment that not even the ones who created it can use it!  When has there been a time in history that we created something and white man tries to take it, Elvis anyone? And God forbid we try to take something they created, we'll still be lynched, but Nigger is one of those things we now own and they can't get it back! I take pride in knowing that.  

The whole debate of eradicating the word should be re-vamped into the word Nigger has to be removed from white language only.  If whites say it they suffer the consequence the same way our ancestor suffered if they didn't properly address a white person (remember don't look into their eyes), LOL.  Yes I know I'm going too far and I don't mean it, but I am honest about owning the word. As black people we should say Nigger anytime we get in front of them, it kills them that they can't say it, not even repeat it from a rap lyric.   And for that alone I love me some Niggers day in and day out!

Peace Out,
Blacktina

Feeling Dogged by DOMA - the VRA Compromise

This week has been the the week of two historic events for our nation.

1) The gays are happy, DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) has been upheld by the Supreme Court.  According to one of my friends who's been with her wife for 25 years, she's finally rich!

2) The Supreme Court declared parts of the VRA (Voting Rights Acts) no longer need to be upheld and local government can control some of these aspects as they see fit. Translation, states can require ID (which I don't see as a problem), however, they can also

determine what the local government can constitute in terms of the right and access to vote (i.e, closing polls early, eliminate Sunday voting, etc.).  According to Chief Justice Roberts parts of this law was in place to combat discrimination, but since we're no longer a racist society we no longer need these parts of protection.  Hmmmm.....we're no longer racist?!?!? John may need to call Paula Deen and get that little fact checked.

As a black hispanic woman I am pisst at both of these events.  Yep, I said BOTH.  I am all for gay equality but I resent the gays get their way while the opposition of the VRA affects majority of minorities.  All along, the gay community supported their argument on the backs of the civil rights movement that affected the African American community; but how is that they get equality and we continually get discriminated? Where are the gays now? Do they still feel like blacks? I don't think so......

Part of DOMA's passing is strongly contributed that many of the right wing's children, other family members, etc. are "coming out" and in support of their families many of the legislation supporting the gays are being passed.  Makes me wonder should we call Henry Louis Gates,  Jr. to research some of the right wing politicians and verify perhaps maybe one fifth of their black blood; would it change their minds and affect their political standing.  Here's an interesting fact, some probably know their "tainted" ancestry and choose to ignore it or obliterated all together. But when it comes to their gay son and his long time "roommate" these are acts that can no longer be avoided and rather than alienate your child, let's enact laws to protect "Kyle". 

I think this reasoning is a pure crock of shit! Where are the gays now besides crowding court houses with their weddings.  Do they still side with the plight of African Americans during the civil rights movement? Or are they asking "Big Daddy" to walk Junior down the aisle?

Yes, America it's a sad day, it's proof that it's all about the privilege!  While this still remains it will always be one step forward to two steps back.  Going forward as a minority community we need to step up whenever another community tries to use our plight to compare to their whims.  The Jews would have NEVER allowed anyone to compare their discrimination to the holocaust, how dare we allow another group to do the same.  Hopefully, now everyone sees and just like in slavery time that Miss Anne would drop your ass in a minute once she gets what she wants!

I can't say today who are our black leaders, cause honestly I really don't see any.  I see complacent, I see turmoil, I see disenfranchisement, I don't see much PROGRESS.  People we got to start stepping up big time; if not there will be more than some VRA opposition.   In the words of 90s hip hop song by the Brand Nubians "Wake up, Wake up"!

Peace Out,
Blacktina

My Dave Chappelle Experience

Dave Chappelle was practically vilified when he abruptly departed from his hit show and gave up millions of dollars.  When Dave asked "why did you give all this up?" his response was "I had to get in touch with my inner coon."  Some may not quite understand what Dave meant, personally I somewhat understood but it wasn't until today at an all day team meeting that it really sunk in what Dave may have felt. 

During our meeting there was a period of dedication to the team's VP who is moving on to another role within the company. To celebrate this new endeavor the team performed a parody based on the sitcom song from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.  Lyrics were changed to suit the occasion and two of the team members performed. The team member who performed the rap was white and as he got up to perform, he did the whole "Yo, Yo Son! thing, walked with a supposed swagger and wore a
baseball cap tilted to the side.  His sidekick who was a sistah, was adorned in her Bonquiqui attire, big earrings, baseball cap and good lord an Adidas sweat suit top. As the fake Fresh Prince began rapping and his sidekick went on to do all the former hip hop dances the crowd roared in an uncontrollable laughter. 

For some reason my reaction was not to laugh, I did not see anything funny about this performance. As a matter of fact I found the performance offensive; at first I didn't understand why I was offended; was it because I didn't like the rap (it was whack) or could it be I felt a migraine coming on?  But as I looked on the laughter I saw were of people laughing at the way black people act not at his performance.  I saw a crowd who genuinely found a musical genre founded by my people and its actions as comical.  The worst part is, the few black people in the room cracked up too.  I don't know if I'm being hypersensitive, but for the life of me I couldn't see or feel it any other way.

In my mind if it feels a certain way then it is that way, no doubts! There was no disputing my perception and how uncomfortable it felt.  The feeling was reminiscent of watching an old movie in which a white character makes fun of Old Joe, the negro butler as he belts out one of the negro spirituals and all his white friends laugh and say "Oh Thomas you're such a hoot!" For the rest of the day I couldn't shake this experience, I was sour, very anti-social and couldn't wait for this meeting to conclude.  Once the day ended I got in my car and didn't regret the sour disposition I had displayed.  In my mind there was no need to pretend like I enjoyed the day.  I took the stance in recognizing I'm an adult with over 25 years experience in Corporate America and if I don't like something I be dammed if I act like I do.

For professional reasons I couldn't express myself, but I think my silence spoke volumes.  While I can't and like many others necessarily verbalized our feelings it is equally important that our actions display our disagreement.  While the parody act really messed up my day, I was proud that my reaction was authentic which for me helps gets through the hidden inner challenges we face as Blacktinas in Corporate America.

Peace out,
Blacktina

This is how I Don't Want To Remember Trayvon

Florida police officer uses image of Trayvon Martin for target practice! You don't believe me, read on!

The Guardian

Peace Out,
Blacktina

Jayonce and Obama - C'mon Son, Get the F*&k Outta Here!

OK I may go to jail for this article as its geared to my distaste of the Jayonce (Jay-Z and Beyonce) machine.  It seems these days if you say anything negative about them you're damm near anti-American.

Like many others I have bounced to their music, own CDs; as a matter of fact Get Me Bodied and Give it to me are probably some of my favorite songs - mind you this was pre-Obama.  What brings me to such discontent is Jay-Z's newest song "Open Letter" in which he boast about their trip to Cuba and goes on to mention "I might buy a kilo for Chief Keef Out of spite, I just might flood these streets, "at the end of this verses he states Obama said "chill, you gonna get me impeached" But you don't need this shit anyway.  Chill with me on the beach."  Lastly towards the end of the song he speaks of getting mad and "catching a body."

First of all Jay-Z you're 40 something, haven't you grown up?? Why are you still rapping about kilos and catching bodies.  Do you want us to believe you're still slinging drugs coupled with murderous acts.  Are you? If not may I suggest you grow up, read a book on philosophy or something and rap about something more legitimate to your world. You left Marcy projects a long time ago I sincerely doubt you and the Mrs. are renting a Section 8 apartment and chilling with the peeps.

Now for your Mr. President and your star struck ass! Out of all the people in the world you want to chill with you choose Jay-Z, really?!?! I can only imagine how intriguing a conversation must be between a Harvard graduate and a former drug dealer - are we feeling a little Dickens'ish? A little Prince and the Pauper thing going on?  I get the fact that the Jayonce machine held a very lucrative fund raiser for your re-election and you are probably eternally grateful; however, have you too lost your f@*king mind?!?!!? You are the President of the United States, the most powerful man in the world and here you are acting like the nerd who wants to hang out with the cool kids.  But haven't you heard; nerds done good, they rule this bitch and have sustainability.  Curious, do you want your daughters marryng a man like the Marcy project Jay-Z? Probably not, hell Jay-Z doesn't want his own daughter marrying that Jay-Z. 

In the end none of us can control who the President chooses to fratenize with. Though when it came to Reverend Wright he quickly ended that relationship, perhaps he should do the same with the Carters.  Personally I hope he gets some backlash for this; Fox speak up, this would be a legitimate one for you!  But I'll say this I did not vote for this type of man, the Barack Obama I voted for had a keen interest and aspirations for the betterment of all US citizens.  The 2nd term Obama is all about I'm cool as shit hanging with Jigga! Mr. President my advice to you is get it together do the job we voted you in for, mic down!

Peace Out,
Blacktina